Delicate Subject Series – Pearls of Wisdom

Many artists, before they became famous, experienced issues similar to those within the general population.  An example is Country Music singer and lyricist Hunter Hayes being a target of bullying when he was younger.

His song Invisible could become an anthem for those suffering.

Hunter Hayes Reveals His Bullying Past

Hunter Hayes – Invisible (OFFICIAL LYRIC VIDEO)

Vikki

Delicate Subject Series – Anti-Bullying Film “Between the Cracks”

Warning: Graphic images

It’s an epidemic and becoming worse every year.  Young people being harassed, threatened, humiliated, reputations questioned, destroyed. The targets frequently take matters into their own hands through violent means, while others commit suicide.

Between the Cracks “…show the devastating factors that can exist with children who are bullied and find no help from adults” (Epp Films, 2013, Dec. 6). Parents and children are encouraged to see the film together at festivals scheduled this year.  Additional information about the film can be read here.

The following is the trailer:

 

Reference

Epp Films. (2013, December 6).  Between the Cracks Trailer Teaser. [Video file].  Retrieved from http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CqVDWquCqYw

Vikki

Delicate Subject Series – Youth Population: Alcohol, Rape, Social Media

How many times have we heard about underage females becoming intoxicated at social functions, passing out, and then being raped, videotaped by the perpetrators, with those images placed out on social media which further humiliate them?  Too often.  No one has the right to take advantage of them, and they have no right placing themselves in dangerous situations.

Parents have to speak to their children beginning at a young age (five) regarding appropriate behaviors, and those which aren’t.  Girls cannot afford to walk around with an ignorance about opportunities where someone can rob them of their dignity.  Boys have to learn to respect females and not even consider violating them in any manner whatsoever. Conversations have to be ongoing throughout before, and after, they enter university.  The authoritarian parental approach may be required for this purpose to scare them into understanding they will not shame themselves, nor the family.

Vikki

Delicate Subject Series – Family Violence

Warning: Ted Bundy makes an appearance 

Family Violence can destroy an individual from reaching their potential.  Victims can experience low self-esteem, substance abuse, depression, suicidal tendencies, and wreak havoc on society.

  • Examples of Family Violence
    1. Child Abuse + Neglect
    2. Spousal + Partner Abuse
    3. Elder Abuse
    4. Physical Abuse
    5. Sibling Abuse
    6. Verbal Abuse (name calling, cursing)
    7. Verbal Violence (scorch-the-earth tempers)
    8. Sexual Abuse
    9. Financial Exploitation (ex. identity theft)

Commentary

First, it’s one thing for a parent, or other caregiver, to spank a child** with an open hand showing love and directing the youth to change negative behaviors.  It’s quite another to beat and punch a child out of anger resulting in bodily harm.  Other forms of this type of abuse are getting in the tub with a child and taking a bath or shower with them; leaving pornographic materials around the house*; having sex in front of the child*; walking around in the nude within home environment, or property*; sexually-explicit conversations in front of, or directed towards youth, which provides no proper educational value in their becoming a responsible, well-adjusted individual*; failing to keep them clean, providing a roof over their heads, feeding, sending them to school, and intentional lying about and on child causing dysfunction among siblings.  Also, when a spouse/partner is abused, the child is automatically abused because they witnessed the mistreatment*.  Concerning neglect, to be fair, some of these parents may have mental health, or financial issues, which prevent them from raising their children properly.  Also, perhaps these are abused parents and keep children at home in the belief no additional harm will come towards them from abusive spouse/partner, or some other abusive person in household.

Second, #4, #6 – 9 directed towards a spouse, or partner.

Third, neglect resulting with the elderly suffering nutritionally, grooming, taking necessary medications, and having protected, clean environment; #4, #6 – 9.

Fourth, any physical contact intentionally meant to incur bodily harm.

Fifth, it’s important for parents to resolve negative behavior when a child is harming a sibling.  When there are more than two children, the bully may coax the others in mistreating the target for abuse.

Sixth, name-calling, cursing, mocking with the intention to damage self-worth of others within household.  Also known as psychological abuse.

Seventh, rage from at least one of the adults in the household, even if the behavior isn’t aimed at anyone in particular within that household.

Eighth, inappropriate sexual contact, not necessarily penetration, by a member of the family, and others within the family construct.  Sexual abuse within a family can occur when families double up the household with immediate family members, and extended members.

Finally, family members who open bank accounts and credit cards, purchase insurance, steals tax returns, etc. from a member of the family, or part of family construct.

Commentary

By the time a child turns the age of six, they’ve either developed a conscience, or haven’t. Ted Bundy didn’t.  The household he was raised in until he was six years old with his mother and maternal grandparents can best be described A House of Horror.  He was a child who saw too much:  The grandfather possessed a violent temper, whipped the family pets, left pornographic materials around the home, and was deceptive (Rule, 2000). Whenever family members saw him coming up the walkway, they ran out the backdoor, except his wife who suffered from agoraphobia.   Bundy was at an impressionable age, thus his grandfather “taught” him these behaviors which he would act out on his victims when he became an adult.  “In the beginning he did not kill.  However, once he murdered—once he crossed that boundary, violated that taboo—killing got easier and easier” (Lewis, 1998). Are there other causations besides family violence and substance abuse which led to his murderous behaviors?  Yes, (Lewis) and we may never discover what they were.

Rule was the former police lieutenant whom Bundy became friendly as an adult at the Seattle Crisis Center, and Dr. Lewis the psychiatrist who worked as a member of his defense team.

References

Lewis, M.D., D. O. (1998). Guilty by Reason of Insanity. Ivy Books: New York.

Rule, A. (2000). The Stranger Beside Me. (20th Anniversary Ed.). NY: W. W. Norton & Company.

*This brand of abuse also falls under the category Children Who See Too Much

**Spanking a child is illegal in certain states

Vikki