September is Self-Awareness Month

“Self awareness is having a clear perception of your personality, including strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs, motivation, and emotions” (Pathway to Happiness, 2017).  Also, the concept provides us the ability to gain comprehension about others, their perceptions of us, our dispositions and interactions with them (Pathway to Happiness).

The following is an excellent resource on self awareness:

[Video] Roy Baumeister – What is Self Awareness?

 

Vikki

 

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Delicate Subject Series – Youth Population: Alcohol, Rape, Social Media

How many times have we heard about underage females becoming intoxicated at social functions, passing out, and then being raped, videotaped by the perpetrators, with those images placed out on social media which further humiliate them?  Too often.  No one has the right to take advantage of them, and they have no right placing themselves in dangerous situations.

Parents have to speak to their children beginning at a young age (five) regarding appropriate behaviors, and those which aren’t.  Girls cannot afford to walk around with an ignorance about opportunities where someone can rob them of their dignity.  Boys have to learn to respect females and not even consider violating them in any manner whatsoever. Conversations have to be ongoing throughout before, and after, they enter university.  The authoritarian parental approach may be required for this purpose to scare them into understanding they will not shame themselves, nor the family.

Vikki

Delicate Subject Series – Family Violence

Warning: Ted Bundy makes an appearance 

Family Violence can destroy an individual from reaching their potential.  Victims can experience low self-esteem, substance abuse, depression, suicidal tendencies, and wreak havoc on society.

  • Examples of Family Violence
    1. Child Abuse + Neglect
    2. Spousal + Partner Abuse
    3. Elder Abuse
    4. Physical Abuse
    5. Sibling Abuse
    6. Verbal Abuse (name calling, cursing)
    7. Verbal Violence (scorch-the-earth tempers)
    8. Sexual Abuse
    9. Financial Exploitation (ex. identity theft)

Commentary

First, it’s one thing for a parent, or other caregiver, to spank a child** with an open hand showing love and directing the youth to change negative behaviors.  It’s quite another to beat and punch a child out of anger resulting in bodily harm.  Other forms of this type of abuse are getting in the tub with a child and taking a bath or shower with them; leaving pornographic materials around the house*; having sex in front of the child*; walking around in the nude within home environment, or property*; sexually-explicit conversations in front of, or directed towards youth, which provides no proper educational value in their becoming a responsible, well-adjusted individual*; failing to keep them clean, providing a roof over their heads, feeding, sending them to school, and intentional lying about and on child causing dysfunction among siblings.  Also, when a spouse/partner is abused, the child is automatically abused because they witnessed the mistreatment*.  Concerning neglect, to be fair, some of these parents may have mental health, or financial issues, which prevent them from raising their children properly.  Also, perhaps these are abused parents and keep children at home in the belief no additional harm will come towards them from abusive spouse/partner, or some other abusive person in household.

Second, #4, #6 – 9 directed towards a spouse, or partner.

Third, neglect resulting with the elderly suffering nutritionally, grooming, taking necessary medications, and having protected, clean environment; #4, #6 – 9.

Fourth, any physical contact intentionally meant to incur bodily harm.

Fifth, it’s important for parents to resolve negative behavior when a child is harming a sibling.  When there are more than two children, the bully may coax the others in mistreating the target for abuse.

Sixth, name-calling, cursing, mocking with the intention to damage self-worth of others within household.  Also known as psychological abuse.

Seventh, rage from at least one of the adults in the household, even if the behavior isn’t aimed at anyone in particular within that household.

Eighth, inappropriate sexual contact, not necessarily penetration, by a member of the family, and others within the family construct.  Sexual abuse within a family can occur when families double up the household with immediate family members, and extended members.

Finally, family members who open bank accounts and credit cards, purchase insurance, steals tax returns, etc. from a member of the family, or part of family construct.

Commentary

By the time a child turns the age of six, they’ve either developed a conscience, or haven’t. Ted Bundy didn’t.  The household he was raised in until he was six years old with his mother and maternal grandparents can best be described A House of Horror.  He was a child who saw too much:  The grandfather possessed a violent temper, whipped the family pets, left pornographic materials around the home, and was deceptive (Rule, 2000). Whenever family members saw him coming up the walkway, they ran out the backdoor, except his wife who suffered from agoraphobia.   Bundy was at an impressionable age, thus his grandfather “taught” him these behaviors which he would act out on his victims when he became an adult.  “In the beginning he did not kill.  However, once he murdered—once he crossed that boundary, violated that taboo—killing got easier and easier” (Lewis, 1998). Are there other causations besides family violence and substance abuse which led to his murderous behaviors?  Yes, (Lewis) and we may never discover what they were.

Rule was the former police lieutenant whom Bundy became friendly as an adult at the Seattle Crisis Center, and Dr. Lewis the psychiatrist who worked as a member of his defense team.

References

Lewis, M.D., D. O. (1998). Guilty by Reason of Insanity. Ivy Books: New York.

Rule, A. (2000). The Stranger Beside Me. (20th Anniversary Ed.). NY: W. W. Norton & Company.

*This brand of abuse also falls under the category Children Who See Too Much

**Spanking a child is illegal in certain states

Vikki

Want to Improve a Child’s Social Development? Give Them Shakespeare

photo

It’s a process:

The child who once thought reading was boring, uninspiring, will develop a fondness for books after they’ve read Shakespeare, or viewed a production.  Reading The Bard’s beautiful language will reinforce in them to enunciate words properly.  If they’re introverted, they’ll stand out in English class reciting lines with enthusiasm.  Parents can incorporate readings on fun nights at home with family members and friends participating. Joining school organizations, gaining friends, will create new socializing opportunities for a child.

Even if they remain a tad shy, it’s an endearing quality.  Their cognition, self-esteem, and confidence will expand, leading to new social skills.  They’ll become more outgoing which they can carry throughout their adult years.

Vikki